With You
by Draco's Thuggurl
Summary: Draco speaks of how he always strived for his mothers affections. I think I kind of reversed the usual. Features Linkin Park's with you, just the lyrics. It isn't a songfic!


Hybrid Theory - Track 03: With You (3:23)  
  
I woke up in a dream today  
  
To the cold of the static  
  
And put my cold feet on the floor  
  
Forgot all about yesterday  
  
Remembering I'm pretending to be where I'm not anymore  
  
A little taste of hypocrisy  
  
And I'm left in the wake of the mistake  
  
Slow to react  
  
Even though you're so close to me  
  
You're still so distant  
  
And I can't bring you back  
  
It's true/The way I feel  
  
Was promised by your face  
  
The sound of your voice  
  
Painted on my memories  
  
Even if you're not with me  
  
I'm with you  
  
You/Now I see/Keeping everything inside  
  
You/Now I see/Even when I close my eyes  
  
I hit you and you hit me back  
  
We fall to the floor/The rest of the day stands still  
  
Fine line between this and that  
  
When things go wrong I pretend the past isn't real  
  
Now I'm trapped in this memory  
  
And I'm left in the wake of the mistake/Slow to react  
  
Even though you're close to me  
  
You're still so distant/And I can't bring you back  
  
No  
  
No matter how far we've come  
  
I can't wait to see tomorrow  
  
With you  
  
  
  
  
  
With You  
  
  
  
My mum, a strong, beautiful, proud woman, at least to the rest of the world. To me, she is a soul less being, her existence her own burden. Honestly, Lucius controls her without resistance. I love my mother. It's not her fault. She's so distant, but so close. I've been starved for her attentions all my life. Lucius, always proud of me, treated me like I was everything. Probably because I was. My parents wed out of convenience, not out of love. My mother looks more like Lucius's sister, rather than his wife. I know why.  
  
All Lucius ever wanted was a son to take his place. An heir, a sawn, a spitting image of him.  
  
In all reality, that's my place in life. He may be proud of me, but he doesn't love me. I am just like mother. convenient.  
  
It's been years since she has kissed me. When I was young, on special days, she would come and tuck me in. At these moments, I was the happiest of boys. Then, as I aged, her affections became weary. I try to push the thoughts out of my mind, but they haunt me. By the time I was of age to be considerable in public, I was showered in praise by my father. He was so proud. I hated every moment of it. I wanted my mother's affections more than anything. Then, when I was 11, there was a faint glimmer of hope.  
  
Lucius tried to send me to Durmstrange, but Mother wanted me closer to home. I was so happy. For a brief moment in time, I thought she was trying to reach out for me. I tried to speak with her, but she brushed me off. I loved my Mother, I really did.  
  
It is only now as I sit at her funeral that I realize just how much. Her voice, her movements, her grace. I will miss her. My father sits next to me, his emotions glazed over. For a moment, his guard flickers and I see a horrible image. His eyes show joy and triumph. It is cruel to the lengths he will go to please his lord. I imagine he found her a threat, ordered her dead. Did Lucius kill her himself?  
  
For a moment I feel like crying. My father, the Death Eater, Killed my Mother, the innocent. Or was she innocent? I spent my days trying to have her love me, but she never did. She carried out her motherly duties to the public. A façade for the world. Maybe Lucius was right in ending her life. She hurt me, she turned me cold. Now, I understand. I glaze my emotions and stare at the far wall. So many thoughts race through my head.  
  
I was juvenile in trying to please my Mother. She was petty, a gold- digging whore. I felt sorry for her, Have I no pride? Narcissa Malfoy, I spit the name. She was a liability and she had to die. One must make sacrifices to achieve greatness.  
  
  
  
A/N: This is the first in my series. Well, I don't know if you would call it a series. I am using the Linkin Park Hybrid Theory CD to inspire my topics. This is the first of 10. I also recommend reading "No Remorse", my story of how life is. I covers the end of all the characters, including Draco, Hermione, Harry, and Ginny. I am very proud of it. Review! 


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